Four Things Not To Say to a Suffering Friend

By Refadoc, Posted on : Monday, 22 September 2014 - 6:00 pm IST

Four Things Not To Say to a Suffering Friend

When your friend is suffering from any loss, be it a death in the family, a divorce or a miscarriage, it can be often very difficult to say anything or offer any condolence. The common things to say can be ‘I am sorry’, ‘I understand’ or ‘I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts or prayers’. Though these lines may seem to be comforting to you, they can be the things you should not be speaking.

  • I understand how you are feeling: This may seem to be very comforting to you, but this is something which you should avoid speaking. Even if you are of an opinion that you have undergone something similar to this experience, there won’t be any chance that you could be feeling the way the other person it. You can without a doubt, empathize or relate to the other person, but you cannot pretend to go inside someone’s mind and be in their place.
  • This must be God’s Plan: This can be taken in different ways by different people. Someone can ask you this very simple question as to why would God want me to suffer like hell on this earth? Instead of bringing God’s plan into play, you should be reaffirming the other person of his faith. Saying that this was all pre planned can come out to be very insensitive on your part and could even be taken as something which questions the belief of the person going through an emotional turmoil.
  • If you need me, give me a call: This is very common and is something which everyone says. In order to sound sympathetic, everyone tends to say this to the grieving person. However, it is very vague and tends to put all the burden of irresponsibility on the person who is going through a personal loss. It is very unrealistic to think that a person going grief is going to come out and call you to help them out. Instead of asking the other person to come out and ask for your help, you should be going out and offering to help them with their everyday chores. Taking them out for a weekend in order to bring a change in their monotonous lifestyle after going through the loss.
  • This too will Pass: This is a good phrase, however, it should be avoided in terms of loss. If you tell someone that he or she will soon be feeling well, after this episode has passed, it is nothing else but wishful thinking. This can also be taken as something which invalidates the pain of the other person.

When you are keeping these things in mind, then it is going to maximize your ability to help your friend minimize the loss.  

Add Comment
Add Comment

Login to Add Comment

Email
Password
Comment as Guest
Cutting Your Cell Phone Cancer Risk

  Cell phones have been condemned since the last couple of years as they have been positively linked to brain tumour. However, with an increased dependency on cell phones these days,

Meet The Parents : Make a Fantastic First Impression

  Meeting the parents of your partner for the first time can bring jitters to anyone! With the festive season approaching, it could be the time when you have to face them and make a

Super Foods for a Glowing Skin

To gain naturally beautiful skin, you need not go far. Your very own kitchen is a hidden storehouse of natural products which can enhance your skin’s glow and can provide you with clean and b

Combating Neck Pains

Though Neck Pain does not tend to get the same attention as the back pain, it is pretty common amongst people all over the world. However, if you are susceptible towards Neck Pain, here are some hi

Triple X Syndrome

Triple X Syndrome

Triple X Syndrome – Basic Overview Triple X Syndrome results from an abnormality ...
Chyawanprash- Health Benefits, Ingredients, Dosage, Nutritional Facts, Side Effects

Chyawanprash- Health Benefits, Ingredients, Dosage, Nutritional Facts, Side Effects

Chyawanprash is a name given to an Ayurvedic supplement which is fortified and constituted with v...
20 Incredible Benefits of Sunflower Oil for Skin, Hair & Health

20 Incredible Benefits of Sunflower Oil for Skin, Hair & Health

Sunflowers happen to be employed for removing oil since ages. Though initially, these were ...
Amazing Health Benefits of Vodka

Amazing Health Benefits of Vodka

Vodka is a very popular drink all over the world and around Europe is seen as a drink which can b...
20 Incredible Benefits of Raisins for Health, Skin & Hair

20 Incredible Benefits of Raisins for Health, Skin & Hair

Raisins have emerged to become an irreplaceable member of the dry fruit category. These small del...
Remarkable Benefits of Almonds for Health, Weight Loss & Skin

Remarkable Benefits of Almonds for Health, Weight Loss & Skin

Almonds are one of the most popular tree nuts available all over the world. They are available bo...
20 Effective Home Remedies for Fairer Skin

20 Effective Home Remedies for Fairer Skin

Jon Keats had written aptly in his poem, ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’. H...
Pineapple - A Dangerous Fruit for Pregnant Women

Pineapple - A Dangerous Fruit for Pregnant Women

Do you remember the old wives tales which said something about avoiding Pineapples while you are ...
Hypothyroidism

Hypothyroidism

Hypothyroidism: Basic Overview The lack of a sufficient amount of thyroid hormone in th...
12 Incredible Health Benefits of Persimmon

12 Incredible Health Benefits of Persimmon

Persimmon, though belonging to a category of berries, is not a well known fruit in our country. I...
Eating rice won't make you fat

Eating rice won't make you fat

Before assessing whether eating rice leads to weight gain, let us try to understand why do we gai...
Benefits of eating Watermelons during Pregnancy

Benefits of eating Watermelons during Pregnancy

Eat fruits regularly – this is one of the most common advise that pregnant women come acros...