Four Things Not To Say to a Suffering Friend

By Refadoc, Posted on : Monday, 22 September 2014 - 6:00 pm IST

Four Things Not To Say to a Suffering Friend

When your friend is suffering from any loss, be it a death in the family, a divorce or a miscarriage, it can be often very difficult to say anything or offer any condolence. The common things to say can be ‘I am sorry’, ‘I understand’ or ‘I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts or prayers’. Though these lines may seem to be comforting to you, they can be the things you should not be speaking.

  • I understand how you are feeling: This may seem to be very comforting to you, but this is something which you should avoid speaking. Even if you are of an opinion that you have undergone something similar to this experience, there won’t be any chance that you could be feeling the way the other person it. You can without a doubt, empathize or relate to the other person, but you cannot pretend to go inside someone’s mind and be in their place.
  • This must be God’s Plan: This can be taken in different ways by different people. Someone can ask you this very simple question as to why would God want me to suffer like hell on this earth? Instead of bringing God’s plan into play, you should be reaffirming the other person of his faith. Saying that this was all pre planned can come out to be very insensitive on your part and could even be taken as something which questions the belief of the person going through an emotional turmoil.
  • If you need me, give me a call: This is very common and is something which everyone says. In order to sound sympathetic, everyone tends to say this to the grieving person. However, it is very vague and tends to put all the burden of irresponsibility on the person who is going through a personal loss. It is very unrealistic to think that a person going grief is going to come out and call you to help them out. Instead of asking the other person to come out and ask for your help, you should be going out and offering to help them with their everyday chores. Taking them out for a weekend in order to bring a change in their monotonous lifestyle after going through the loss.
  • This too will Pass: This is a good phrase, however, it should be avoided in terms of loss. If you tell someone that he or she will soon be feeling well, after this episode has passed, it is nothing else but wishful thinking. This can also be taken as something which invalidates the pain of the other person.

When you are keeping these things in mind, then it is going to maximize your ability to help your friend minimize the loss.  

Add Comment
Add Comment

Login to Add Comment

Email
Password
Comment as Guest
The Key Ways to Apologize

  Relationships and conflicts go hand in hand. No matter where you are, at workplace or at home, there is always a disagreement of opinions, perspectives as well as connections which

AIDS and HIV

AIDS and HIV-Overview HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is categorized into two parts- HIV 1 and HIV 2. Whereas the former is found in almost all regions of the world, the latter is rest

Super Foods for a Glowing Skin

To gain naturally beautiful skin, you need not go far. Your very own kitchen is a hidden storehouse of natural products which can enhance your skin’s glow and can provide you with clean and b

Debunking Major Meditation Myths

Meditation has proved one of the most famous and beneficial forms of relaxation and learning to focus. However, there are a lot of misconceptions and myths which have been associated with meditatio

Benefits of eating Watermelons during Pregnancy

Benefits of eating Watermelons during Pregnancy

Eat fruits regularly – this is one of the most common advise that pregnant women come acros...
12 Incredible Health Benefits of Wasabi

12 Incredible Health Benefits of Wasabi

Wasabi is a well known pungent root vegetable which is known to add a spicy flavor to sushi. It i...
Remarkable Benefits of Almonds for Health, Weight Loss & Skin

Remarkable Benefits of Almonds for Health, Weight Loss & Skin

Almonds are one of the most popular tree nuts available all over the world. They are available bo...

Rosacea

...
Amazing Health Benefits of Vodka

Amazing Health Benefits of Vodka

Vodka is a very popular drink all over the world and around Europe is seen as a drink which can b...
15 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Cashew Nuts

15 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Cashew Nuts

Cashew Nuts are a rich sweet product from the Cashew Tree and are popular all over the world for ...
22 Proven Natural Home Remedies to Remove Blackheads

22 Proven Natural Home Remedies to Remove Blackheads

Though Blackheads can affect you at any age, they are most often an issue that teenagers seem to ...
9 Surprising Health Benefits of Apricots

9 Surprising Health Benefits of Apricots

Apricots are widely known as the yellowish-orange colored fruits which belongs the family of the ...
20 Incredible Benefits of Sunflower Oil for Skin, Hair & Health

20 Incredible Benefits of Sunflower Oil for Skin, Hair & Health

Sunflowers have been used for extracting cooking oil since ages. Though initially, they were nati...
Rooibos Tea Benefits for Health, Weight Loss, Pregnancy & Side Effects

Rooibos Tea Benefits for Health, Weight Loss, Pregnancy & Side Effects

Not many people know about the amazing health benefits of Rooibos Tea. However, this beverage, wh...
How to get rid of bad breath - Expert Doctors tell you the way out - Refadoc

How to get rid of bad breath - Expert Doctors tell you the way out - Refadoc

Bad Breath is considered the single most putting off factor for p...
Psoriasis

Psoriasis

Psoriasis tre...