Why First Marriages Fail?

By Refadoc, Posted on : Monday, 22 September 2014 - 5:38 pm IST


On conducting a social survey on a group of middle aged married couples, going through their second innings in love, most cited the reasons for their divorce as ‘ we were young and foolish’. Couples today are finding the lines, ‘Till death do us part’, as an obsolete and old school. First marriages tend to fail increasingly these days and second marriages have emerged to be a saviour as they offer maturity and a shift towards a more fulfilling love.

Though in our 20’s we may be emotionally or intellectually intelligent, yet most of us are yet to figure out whom we are as an individual. Therefore, we need some time to acquire those skills which are needed for the sustenance of a healthy and long term relationship. First marriages today are increasingly failing as people are taking out time to figure out their present bond.

With the changes in the lifestyle patterns, it has become very common for the couples use belittling language, talk in harsh tones or have a withdrawal style. If one of the persons in a relationship is not willing to add work in building a relationship, then it is about time to reconsider the relationship. 

Immaturity leads to insecurity in relationships and it leads to the couple taking up controlling or manipulating strategies in order to keep the relationship alive. When this situation comes up, then it often leads to the restricting of the freedom or development in a relationship. People who are in a secure or peaceful relationship on the other hand, do not need a relationship in order to gain a feeling of security or completeness. They, on the other hand, tend to use their relationship in order to enhance the quality of their life and celebrate their relationship.

Michelangelo Phenomenon is one of the terms which are used in order to consign to healthy, stable and protected relationships in which partners are accountable in order to shape each other into their perfect selves. For instance, if one of the partners wants to take up an art class, then the other one joins in and goes for the same too in order to encourage the other one. This particular phenomenon is one of the major signs of a mature and stable relationship.

In today’s world, everyone tends to go for the things which are beneficial for one and do not put onus on what a relationship needs. However, it has been found that if a person opts to make decisions which put the relationship on a forefront, then it is going to provide both the partners with long term happiness. Good relationships help us to thrive emotionally, physically as well as mentally. Bad ones, on the other hand lead to the deterioration of the same.

Expressing gratitude for what you have got and bearing respect and affection towards each other is one of the primary requisites to run a successful relationship. Always bear in your mind that your daily habits are going to define the success ratio of your relationship. Also, sometimes, change is needed in a relationship. Try not to be defensive in such a situation, rather, express concern for what is wrong or missing and seek to fill it. In many cases it has been known to people treat their partners in a way worse that they treat strangers. Make sure that this does not happen for you and your partner. Instead, remember that these are the people who are the most closest to you and demand your utmost respect and love! When both the members move towards the culmination of a positive attitude and respect for each other, then only a relationship will be a complete success!



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